From ‘Roller Coaster Tycoon’ to ‘Jesus’: Jason Kelce Thanks Taylor Swift After Travis’s Mortifying Podcast Moment

The cultural juggernaut that is the Kelce family podcast, “New Heights,” has once again delivered a potent mix of high-stakes business, locker-room hilarity, and viral-ready family confessions. In a single, explosive episode, Travis Kelce was unveiled as a “roller coaster tycoon,” Jason Kelce publicly thanked his future sister-in-law, Taylor Swift, for an Eagles win, and the world learned of the tight end’s most mortifying fan encounter yet—one that took place at a funeral.

It was a dizzying display of the dual realities Travis Kelce now inhabits: one moment, a savvy entrepreneur expanding his empire, the next, the blushing subject of a bizarre comparison to Jesus Christ.

The show kicked off with an energy shift that has become palpable in recent weeks. The brothers celebrated the Kansas City Chiefs’ dominating 31-0 shutout win over the Raiders. But the real story wasn’t just the stats; it was the soundtrack. Patrick Mahomes, the Chiefs’ quarterback, had posted a highlight clip of receiver Rashee Rice set to “Opalite,” a track from Taylor Swift’s new album.

Travis was giddy. “I told y’all it was going to be a banger, man!” he exclaimed.

But it was Jason who cemented the new reality, borrowing from Swift’s lyrics to describe the team’s turnaround. “The sky is definitely opalite in Kansas City right now for the Chiefs, there’s no question,” Jason declared. “It was Onyx for the first two weeks, but we are full-on beautiful.”

The moment was a stunning public acknowledgment of the “Swift effect” from the stoic future Hall of Famer. The “Opalite” era is, apparently, official. Jason’s acknowledgment, however, didn’t stop there. After celebrating his own Philadelphia Eagles getting “back in the win column,” Jason added, with a sly, knowing tone, “Thank you so much, Taylor. Thank you so much.”

Whether he was thanking her for attending the Chiefs game on October 19th or jokingly attributing the Eagles’ success to her good-luck charm, the message was clear: Taylor Swift is no longer just a spectator; she’s part of the family narrative.

But just as the brothers cemented their place at the nexus of sports and pop culture, they quickly pivoted to the absurd. Jason, barely containing his laughter, brought up a “New News” item that was anything but. “You have once again been mistaken for Jesus,” he announced.

A clearly embarrassed Travis tried to shut it down—”No, it doesn’t!”—but the story was too good. A fan named Samantha Kaiser, while attending a funeral, found herself completely distracted. “She’s mourning the loss of a beloved one,” Jason explained, “and she can’t get her eyes off of Travis Kelce hanging in from the cross.”

The fan had sent in a photo of a crucifix, and the resemblance, at least to Jason, was undeniable. “It’s got a very Travis Kelce look,” he howled, as Travis buried his face in his hands.

The brothers then hilariously deconstructed the statue’s features. “That is a well-groomed Jesus,” Travis admitted, trying to find a way out. “He had some good conditioner… he had some good beard oil.” Jason wondered what they used for conditioner back then—”Was it just like, lamb’s fat?” It was a moment of pure, unadulterated brotherly roasting, perfectly undercutting the “demigod” status Travis has achieved.

One minute, he’s Jesus at a funeral; the next, he’s a business titan.

In the episode’s biggest official announcement, Travis confirmed he is expanding his already-massive business portfolio into a childhood dream. “Travis Kelce is officially a roller coaster tycoon,” Jason announced. “And we’re not talking about the video game, people. We’re talking about real life.”

Travis confirmed he is teaming up with Jana Partners to invest in Six Flags and Cedar Fair, the amusement park giants. “I could not pass this opportunity up, man,” Travis said, his voice buzzing with genuine excitement. “These amusement parks… absolutely rocked our world as kids.” He described it as a “Richie Rich” moment, referencing the ’90s movie about a kid who has a theme park in his backyard.

Jason, ever the supportive older brother, immediately declared, “I’m joining you, too. I’m investing, too, brother. I’m just going to keep riding your coattails.”

This sparked a nostalgic and hilarious tangent as they reminisced about their Ohio childhoods at Geauga Lake and Kings Island. They then began brainstorming a hypothetical “Kelsey roller coaster.” Travis, a “big guy,” insisted on a shoulder harness. “I love the Raptor ’cause it was like your feet were dangling,” he said. He also floated the idea of an indoor ride where “you didn’t know where you were going” or even a wooden coaster. “There’s like a dirtiness to the wood,” Jason mused. “There’s an even greater sense of like, ‘Is this thing about to motherf-cking fall apart?’”

This new venture is just the latest jewel in Travis’s rapidly growing crown. Outside of his NFL salary, he’s amassed a staggering portfolio including the Hilo Nutrition brand, a “True Colors” clothing line, the Club Car Wash chain, a stake in the Alpine Formula 1 team, and his new Kansas City restaurant, 1587 Prime Steakhouse.

This empire-building has fueled speculation about his future, with rumors of a one-year, $11 million contract extension from the Chiefs. But an even bigger rumor is on the horizon: that he and Taylor Swift have a plan to purchase a stake in an NFL team by 2026. The theory gained traction when NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, when asked about the possibility, laughed and said, “If she’s interested, I think she has the ability to do it.”

For now, the only turf war on the horizon is over the 1587 Prime Steakhouse menu. Jason announced he’ll be in town for the upcoming Commanders game and will finally review his brother’s restaurant. This led to the episode’s most heated and comical debate.

“What are your favorites?” Jason asked.

“You like the mayonnaise-soaked… whatever thingamabobber,” Travis shot back, his disgust palpable. “I made sure that that thingamabobber isn’t on the menu. Goddammit, mayonnaise is delicious, Travis!”

Travis, the sophisticated steakhouse owner, tried to redirect his brother to the “Hamachi” (a raw fish appetizer), the “Wagyu smash burger,” or the “chicken nuggies.” But Jason, the man of the people, just wants his condiments. The argument escalated when Travis suggested his preferred way to eat a steak: an A5 strip with “truffle butter” on top.

“I don’t like mixing truffle with steaks,” Jason protested. “If it’s a good steak, I shouldn’t need truffle butter on it!”

“You’re not… you’re just adding!” Travis argued, before Jason hit him with the final blow: “Like you add… mayonnaise to your whatever!”

It was the perfect summary of the Kelce brothers’ dynamic. One is building a refined empire of roller coasters, raw fish, and truffle butter; the other is just trying to find the mayo. And somehow, caught in the middle of it all, is Taylor Swift, whose music is now the official soundtrack to an “Opalite” sky over Kansas City, and a well-groomed Jesus statue in a funeral home, waiting for his conditioner.