In a dramatic and deeply personal letter to Judge Sueanian, music mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs has laid bare his soul, offering a profound apology, detailing his harrowing experiences in jail, and making a desperate plea for mercy ahead of his highly anticipated sentencing hearing. The letter, a stark contrast to the public persona he once meticulously cultivated, paints a picture of a man humbled, broken, and profoundly transformed by his circumstances. It’s a confession, a testament, and a desperate cry for a second chance, echoing with remorse and a newfound understanding of his past wrongs.

The opening lines set a somber tone, with Combs expressing his “sincerely sorry” for all the “hurt and pain” he has inflicted upon others. He unequivocally takes “full responsibility and accountability for my past wrongs,” acknowledging that the last two years have been the “hardest” of his life. This admission marks a significant departure from his previous public statements, suggesting a genuine introspection forced upon him by his current reality. He owns his downfall, stating plainly, “I have no one to blame for my current reality and situations but myself.”

At the heart of Diddy’s remorse is the assault on Cassie, an incident that has undoubtedly defined his public downfall. He writes with raw honesty about seeing “an image of me assaulting Cassie play over and over in my head daily,” a recurring nightmare that caused him to “literally lost my mind.” The weight of his actions is palpable as he confesses, “I was dead wrong for putting my hands on the woman that I loved. I’m sorry for that and I always will be.” This act of domestic violence, he states, “will always be a heavy burden that I will have to carry forever.” The emotional toll is clear in his words: “the remorse, the sorrow, the regret, the disappointment, the shame.” He grapples with self-forgiveness, admitting it’s hard to reconcile his actions with his own moral compass, especially considering how he would feel if someone else harmed his daughters. “It’s like a deep wound that leaves an ugly scar,” he muses, highlighting the lasting impact of his behavior.

Beyond Cassie, Diddy also expresses deep regret for the hurt caused to Jane, acknowledging her testimony and realizing the pain he inflicted despite his perceived intentions of providing for her and her child. “I lost my way,” he confesses, attributing his downfall to being “lost in my journey, lost in the substances and the excess,” and ultimately, rooted in his “selfishness.” This self-critique offers a glimpse into the internal struggles that contributed to his egregious actions.

The letter delves into the brutal realities of his incarceration, painting a bleak picture of life inside jail. He describes being “humbled and broken to my core,” stating that “jail is designed to break you mentally, physically and spiritually.” He speaks of moments of despair, wanting to “give up” and even thinking he “would be better off gone.” However, he also claims a profound transformation, declaring, “The old me passed away in jail and a new version of me was reborn. Prison will change you or it will unalive you, and I choose to live.”

Despite the harshness, Combs claims to have made the “best of my time” by engaging in reading, writing, working out, and therapy. He asserts he is “obtaining the tools and knowledge to deal with my past substance abuse and anger issues,” diligently working “to become the best version of myself to ensure that I never make the same mistakes again.” A significant revelation is his sobriety: “For starters, I am now sober for the first time in 25 years.” This suggests a long-standing battle with addiction, now finally confronted through his incarceration. He acknowledges that “no amount of money, power or fame can save me, only God can save me,” indicating a spiritual awakening in his darkest hour.

Perhaps the most surprising and inspiring part of Diddy’s letter details his initiative to mentor fellow inmates. He recounts being asked by other incarcerated individuals to teach them how he became a successful businessman, a request that “inspired” him. He subsequently started a six-week program called “Free Game,” which was approved and sanctioned by the Bureau of Prisons. In this class, he doesn’t just share his successes but also his “mistakes and failures,” finding a “blessing to do something positive in a negative situation.”

This program, he claims, has fostered unity and peace in an otherwise segregated environment. He highlights the presence of “black, Spanish, white, Asian all together in one room learning and working together,” even with an interpreter for Spanish-speaking inmates. The most “shocking thing” and “biggest miracle” he observed was rival gang members—Bloods, Crips, MS13s, Trentos, and 18th Street—working together in the same room. He proudly states that “since this class has started there have been no fights in our unit,” attributing this peace to the program. This act of service, he explains, has given him “so much needed hope.”

Combs’s plea for mercy is deeply rooted in his role as a father and son. He invokes his seven children—Quincy, Justin, Christian, Chance, Jesse, Delilah, and his two-year-old daughter Love—four of whom lost their mother, Kim Porter, in 2018. He admits to having “failed my children as a father” and understands firsthand the pain of growing up without a father, as his own father was “unalived” when Diddy was three. His fervent wish is “to return home and be the father that they need me to be.”

He also speaks of his 84-year-old mother, who recently underwent brain surgery and attended his trial daily despite her own health challenges. As her “primary caregiver,” he expresses profound heartbreak at being unable to be there for her “when she needs me the most.” This helplessness, combined with his fear of being away from his children, fuels his desperate plea: “I’m scared to death, scared to spend another second away from my mother and my children.” He now asserts that “I no longer care about the money or the fame; there is nothing more important to me than my family.”

He acknowledges the court’s need for deterrence, both for himself and others, and highlights the “inhumane” conditions of his incarceration. He describes being locked in a single room with 25 other inmates, with “no windows, no natural or clean air, no sunlight,” where they “eat, we sleep, we use the toilet, take showers and prepare meals all in the same room.” He mentions the lack of clean drinking water, the broken communal washing machine, and being “surrounded by illegal substances and live every day with the constant threat of being unalived.” While he doesn’t seek pity, he stresses that his time at the MDC has “changed me forever.”

The losses he enumerates are extensive: the ability to care for his mother, effectively raise and support his children (missing proms, graduations, and taking a daughter to college, as well as teaching his two-year-old), his businesses, career, charter schools, and his reputation. He declares with certainty, “I will never be in another criminal courtroom again.” He hopes that his story can deter others from making similar mistakes, offering to “share my story with people to prevent at least one person from making the mistakes that I’ve made.”

Diddy concludes his letter with a spiritual reflection, believing that “God put me here to transform me.” He sees his incarceration as a “spiritual reset” and is “committed to the journey of remaining substance-free, nonviolent and a peaceful person.” He believes this trial, despite the global attention, is part of a larger plan. Instead of being made an example of his failures, he implores the judge to “make me an example of what a person can do if afforded a second chance.” He promises not to disappoint and to “make you proud.”

His final words are a humble request for “another chance”: “another chance to be a better father, another chance to be a better son, another chance to be a better leader in my community and another chance to live a better life.” He reiterates that this letter is not for sympathy, but “simply the truth of my existence and has changed my life forever and I will never commit a crime again.”

Diddy’s sentencing hearing, scheduled to begin at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow, will be a pivotal moment in his tumultuous journey. This letter serves as his final, poignant appeal, a raw and desperate plea from a man who claims to have found redemption amidst the ruins of his former life. The world watches to see if the judge will grant him the second chance he so earnestly desires.